Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
