Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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