I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
