so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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