You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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