What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
