i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
