So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You're like the curious george of whores
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
