Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
