Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
