Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
