So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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