Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
