hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
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Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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