Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
