Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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