Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  you're bored at work aren't you?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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  (571): you're bored at work aren't you? (703): I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk http://tfl.nu/77tj
  Replies (78) Good night (4009) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.

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  (913): I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better. http://tfl.nu/gf52
  Replies (6) Good night (1862) Bad night (3176)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.

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  (415): this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/tkiv
  Replies (11) Good night (3920) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint

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  (404): She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint http://tfl.nu/mdfm
  Replies (7) Good night (2987) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left

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  (925): you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left http://tfl.nu/56sv
  Replies (4) Good night (3563) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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  (916): Sadness tears and throw up everywhere http://tfl.nu/ierj
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (2136)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (876) Bad night (1663)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check

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  (770): Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check http://tfl.nu/nnqt
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face

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  (775): He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face http://tfl.nu/ksnb
  Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery

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  (608): Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery http://tfl.nu/z40m
  Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker

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  (812): Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker http://tfl.nu/znwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2210) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.

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  (570): Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore. http://tfl.nu/httm
  Replies (1) Good night (1138) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.

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  (901): Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/r0ud
  Replies (11) Good night (1559) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You have a very discerning palate.

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  (410): It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze. (301): You have a very discerning palate. http://tfl.nu/r2sj
  Replies (11) Good night (720) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.

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  (646): I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation. http://tfl.nu/yzea
  Replies (4) Good night (487) Bad night (233)

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