Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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  (205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/4ixk
  Replies (16) Good night (582) Bad night (1417)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I could never be a politician.

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  (248): After last night, I could never be a politician. http://tfl.nu/69mb
  Replies (11) Good night (1263) Bad night (481)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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  (713): 38 yer olds are good kisserssss http://tfl.nu/i4pg
  Replies (55) Good night (1573) Bad night (2635)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.

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  (678): I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job. http://tfl.nu/y0of
  Replies (13) Good night (909) Bad night (3288)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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  (805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg
  Replies (8) Good night (2082) Bad night (2959)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

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  (203): trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me http://tfl.nu/u42j
  Replies (20) Good night (2385) Bad night (3841)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

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  (814): I wasted some perfectly good semen on her http://tfl.nu/b11w
  Replies (17) Good night (980) Bad night (5055)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

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  (208): You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right? http://tfl.nu/dxzt
  Replies (6) Good night (2058) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Where was your thought process?

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  Drowning in my hangover.

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  (778): Where was your thought process? (1-778): Drowning in my hangover. http://tfl.nu/hpz6
  Replies (1) Good night (1425) Bad night (621)
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  (+22): View more from

  Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.

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  (+22): Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes. http://tfl.nu/gtep
  Replies (8) Good night (534) Bad night (1694)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him

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  (317): He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him http://tfl.nu/vd38
  Replies (11) Good night (1884) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.

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  (415): I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level. http://tfl.nu/gvuc
  Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.

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  (303): I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high. http://tfl.nu/hr24
  Replies (10) Good night (1082) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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  (443): He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp". http://tfl.nu/ico5
  Replies (4) Good night (1804) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.

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  (702): Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents. http://tfl.nu/6lkq
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (389)

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