i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so let's talk penis.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize