Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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