He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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