i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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