There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There r osticjed everywhere
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
