when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Randomize
