3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
