Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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