Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
