I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
