Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
