i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
