i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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