I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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