so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
