I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize