why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
