Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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