he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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