She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize