if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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