Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
