I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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