Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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