What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
