his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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