We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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