Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
