It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
smell my finger.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All the doctor said was why
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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