spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
