i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize