WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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