This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
