this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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