Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
