I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
