Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

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  (859): While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight. http://tfl.nu/5wwv
  Replies (46) Good night (7018) Bad night (890)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  you dont need a face to have sex

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  (630): shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh. (1-630): you dont need a face to have sex http://tfl.nu/3vud
  Replies (44) Good night (4544) Bad night (922)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.

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  (630): If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries. http://tfl.nu/qapc
  Replies (26) Good night (4393) Bad night (777)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.

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  (850): I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme. http://tfl.nu/wwup
  Replies (4) Good night (1963) Bad night (765)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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  (480): I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies. http://tfl.nu/khmt
  Replies (9) Good night (5883) Bad night (1087)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

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  (905): Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are. http://tfl.nu/m18s
  Replies (2) Good night (3093) Bad night (820)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war

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  (989): My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war http://tfl.nu/yle2
  Replies (12) Good night (2638) Bad night (682)
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  (315): View more from New York

  After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine

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  (315): After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine http://tfl.nu/ymwq
  Replies (9) Good night (2269) Bad night (686)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.

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  (201): I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed. http://tfl.nu/jlau
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (1805)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas

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  (412): It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas http://tfl.nu/da47
  Replies (8) Good night (1027) Bad night (372)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?

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  (210): I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you? http://tfl.nu/lbmm
  Replies (5) Good night (1285) Bad night (355)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?

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  (416): Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best? http://tfl.nu/9x4p
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (246)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.

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  (612): You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms. http://tfl.nu/grmf
  Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (290)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.

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  (307): I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/qeom
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (287)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.

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  (240): He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur. http://tfl.nu/z4pa
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (278)

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