Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.