Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week