You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
