i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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