I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
