I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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