chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
