There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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