it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
