You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
