Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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