Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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