I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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