just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize