whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize